Networking!
Now take a deep breath and remain calm. I know that for many of you, networking is the worst word in our business vernacular other than “micromanager,” but hear me out. At some point, I absolutely guarantee that you will be attending an event – either social or business-related – and in order to be successful, you need to be able to network with anyone in the room.
“But Denise,” you’re saying, “I’d rather curl up into a ball and die than approach a complete stranger and talk to them.”
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: there are lots and lots of people who feel just like you. And yet, every one of them (and you) can network like a pro. All it takes is some solid advice, coupled with a little practice. Even if you’re the shyest person in the world, even if you don’t particularly like socializing (and even if you don’t particularly like people!), you can use these five tips, because they are based on common sense. I’ve taught them for decades, and they work.
So read on, and you’ll gain a few insights on one of the most important personal and professional skills you can possess – networking!
1. Know why you are networking
This is tip #1 for a reason: it sets up everything else that we’re going to discuss in this article. Are you fresh out of school and looking for a job? Or are you looking to change jobs, or even careers? Maybe you’re just starting out as a graphics freelancer and need to fill your customer pipeline? Or have your job responsibilities morphed to where you’re representing your employer at trade shows, conventions, and business functions around town? It absolutely matters why you are networking in order to know the best way how to network. Do a little self-assessing and soul searching before you read on.
2. Get the right mindset
I have a writer friend who detests parties and is a fairly shy introvert. He avoided social situations like the plague, and after a while, he found himself struggling to land freelance customers.
Finally biting the bullet, he convinced himself to go to one party. When he didn’t die, he went to another. And then another. Next, he read up on networking skills, elevator pitch strategies, and small talk advice, so that he’d be more comfortable (and competent) as he spoke to others. While he still doesn’t love being around groups of people, you wouldn’t know it by watching him network—he was able to make a significant change in his mindset!
He now realizes that business contacts can come from the most unlikely places—including parties—and my friend almost always meets marketing professionals desperately looking for good writers.
So, for social events, there’s nothing really at stake other than having fun with other people—feel free to approach them with that sort of mindset. And for business events, have a pen, business cards, an open mindset, and a killer elevator pitch ready at all times, along with a goal of meeting a minimum of x-number of new contacts. You can make your “x” whatever you want, but I would suggest a goal of three or four if you’re just starting out. Once you’re comfortable with networking, turn it into a game and try to beat your best number from former events. Elevator pitches are critical: be prepared to describe yourself, your profession, and what you can do for the other person in under one minute. With repetition, you’ll get better at adapting your pitch to sell yourself to anyone in any situation.
3. Smile
Smiling has no downside at networking events—and almost endless upsides. Smiling makes you feel good about yourself and makes you approachable for others. It literally releases neuropeptides in your body that fight off stress. Your “feel good” neurotransmitters—dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin—are also released, all of which your lower blood pressure, lower your heart rate, and act as natural anti-depressants. Internally, smiling does your body good.
Externally, smiling makes you better looking. (Literally! A recent study at University of Missouri at Kansas City verified it.) Moreover, when you smile, other people will treat you more positively, and are more likely to agree with you. Seeing a smiling face also activates your orbitofrontal cortex, the region in your brain that processes sensory rewards. This means that when you view a smiling face, you actually feel like you’re being rewarded.
4. Master the art of small talk
I know, I know. No one loves the prospect of chatting up a stranger. But unless you’ve never once spoken to another human being in an elevator, on a bus, or in the grocery store check-out line, you’ve already been making small talk! In my professional career, I’ve lost track of how many people have told me that they simply “cannot do small talk” at parties or events—and they rarely notice that by approaching me and chatting, they’re successfully making small talk.
Remember that small talk is not the same as your elevator pitch. Elevator pitches sell you and your abilities to others. Small talk is the art of interacting with others, and of demonstrating interest in them—and it’s a wonderful part of being human.
Here are a few tips for making small talk:
• Be willing to start the conversation. Chances are you’re both a little nervous or apprehensive.
• Keep your comments positive. No one wants to be approached by a complainer or someone who’s talking bad about another person or their company.
• Listen and focus on the person (not on yourself—or your phone). Make eye contact and listen completely. This will help the conversation bloom in a more organic way. Allow the other person to speak more than you do.
• Use the other person’s name a few times (but make sure you do it naturally, or it’ll sound formulaic). Everyone responds positively to their name—plus, you’ll remember it better later.
• Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. “What do you do?” is not the most interesting way to begin. Try something more fun and less predictable.
• Don’t give yes/no answers if you’re asked a question, even if it’s a yes/no question. Expand on your answer so you’re not putting all the conversation pressure on the other person. Repeating the question as a part of your answer is smart because it subtly affirms to the other person that you’re listening to them and their question is making you think.
5. Don’t linger
At a social event or party, you’re more or less free to decide how long you want to hang out and talk to another person. It is, after all, a social event. However, for a business networking event, don’t stay too long with any one person or group, even when you hit it off. Many experts say that three to five minutes is more than enough time to network. Gracefully exit a conversation by extending your hand, saying that you enjoyed talking, and offer your business card. No one will think you’re being rude—this is fairly standard protocol. If you received a business card from the other person, be sure to jot down some notes about him or her on the back (you’ll thank yourself later, when your brain is overloaded with stories and faces). Then move on to another person or group.
Bonus tip: Follow up the next day!
Trust me, this will set you apart from 95% of the people who were at the networking event. Prioritize the people you want to follow up with, and then email them or connect on LinkedIn within 24 to 48 hours. This is where you use the information you jotted down on their business card. Wish them good luck on the presentation they said they were doing, or wish them a good time on their trip to the Grand Canyon, or tell them how much you appreciated their advice on a local restaurant. You’ll make a very positive impression!
So there you go. Now get out there and work the room, like the Networking Ninja Master you were born to be!
Don’t forget to send your comments, questions, and suggestions for future topics—I always love hearing from my readers!