It’s difficult to get agreement on almost anything these days, but I’m going to give it a try: we all enjoy being around people with a positive attitude—both at work and at home. Do you agree? Even if you yourself aren’t overly positive, I bet you appreciate those who are. People with a can-do way of approaching things, people who smile and greet others cheerfully, people who show a genuine interest in the well-being of those around them, people who get the job done without a complaint—those are the people we tend to gravitate toward and value as co-workers, bosses, friends, and family members.
If you’re one of those positive types, congrats! You are making the world a happier, better, more productive place. And if you’re not, well, read on…
Here’s the deal: attitude is a choice. And being positive is actually a learned behavior. Yes, even if you’re not a naturally positive person, even if you’ve had very few role models of positivity in your life, even if you don’t think you have the energy it takes to be positive (I’ve been there, especially when I’m feeling overworked), you can find it within yourself to make a change toward becoming more positive.
And here comes the message that appears in almost all of my articles, blogs, lectures, and keynotes: after you’ve found the motivation to make a change (any change), your next move is to acquire the skills necessary to make the journey a success. Skill-building is essential, no matter what you’re attempting to accomplish, so here are some easy, doable steps to build and maintain a positive attitude, no matter what’s going on in your life:
Do some reframing. Whenever something “challenging” (I’m going to refrain from using the word “bad”) happens, you might be tempted to think to yourself, “Why did this happen?” or “Why me?” Instead, you might want to substitute, “What lessons can I take away from this experience?” or “How might I do things differently next time?” I realize that this may sound a bit simplistic, but it’s super important. Why? Because these sorts of questions place you in “learning mode,” rather than “defeatist mode.” You’re much more likely to gain wisdom, solve problems, and feel optimistic if you’re taking action and moving on. Trust me on this one, because reframing totally works. Your brain can be reprogrammed to think more positively, and the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Survey your environment. Your environment includes not just your physical environment, but your psychological environment, as well. Let’s start with the physical:
Most definitely, we’re taking “mood cues” from our surroundings, and sometimes, by making the simplest of changes, we can create mental peace and harmony. For instance, when you sit at your desk, what do you see when you look around? Even if your desk is located in the world’s tiniest cubicle (or even if your desk is currently your kitchen table), is there something you could do to make yourself happier? A photo of your dog next to your laptop, perhaps? A houseplant? A thorough desk-cleaning? (What if that huge pile of papers was no longer the focal point of your view? Just a thought.) See if there’s something you can do right now to bring a little joy into the picture.
Next, let’s take a look at your psychological environment. When you begin your day, do you sit down in your favorite chair, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea as you listen to beautiful music and watch the sun rise over the hills? No? Or do you jump out of bed at the last sec, throw on your mismatched clothes, attempt to find your missing car keys, and rush off at a “morning-from-hell” breakneck speed, hoping to make it to lunchtime before fainting from hunger? Oftentimes, we’re actually creating (albeit inadvertently) the chaos and disorder that fuels our negativity. And again, it’s possible that the simplest of tweaks can result in a calmer, sunnier life—and a calmer, sunnier disposition to match.
Check out your mates. Officemates, roommates, life partner mates, local corner bar mates, hiking mates…check ‘em all out. Any major naysayers in the group? Anyone who brings you down, every single time you see them? Attitudes—both positive and negative—are contagious, and there’s a bundle of fascinating research on this topic. However, you don’t have to study the research to know, in your gut, that when you encounter someone who perennially sees the glass as half-empty, you start to believe them! Luckily, the opposite is true with positive people: they can serve to brighten our day, bring us out of an occasional funk, and remind us about the half-full side of the equation.
I realize that it may be impossible to totally remove every single negative person from your life. Circumstances may require you to tolerate a negative boss, a negative roommate, or even a negative family member. However, at a minimum, I suggest you do your best to “load the deck” with as many positive people in your life as possible. That way, you’ll have a fighting chance of remaining positive yourself. (And honestly, I do suggest taking a hard look at the people who break your spirit—they may not be serving your best interests, and you may want to make some changes.)
Take care of your body. You knew this was coming. I’m not an exercise physiologist or a nutritionist, but I am a psychologist, and I know that happy, heathy bodies make for happy, healthy psyches. After all, you “live” in your body, so it’s important to stay in good shape. Here are some simple steps that reap big health-related rewards:
- Move around and get some exercise. Any amount is better than no amount, so just do something. Take a walk. Take the stairs at home or at work. After Covid subsides, join a gym or an exercise group. Or form your own neighborhood walking group! There are so many ways to incorporate a bit of movement into your life, and research shows that exercise does all good things for your heart, blood pressure, bones, muscles—and even your mood and memory.
- Eat as healthfully as possible. For some of us, this means, “I’ll eat lots of fruits and veggies every day.” For others, this means, “I won’t eat pizza three times a day.” (Although it might be fun!) Wherever you may be on this continuum, do what you can to support and nourish your body with healthful foods. And if you’re not sure where to start, there are lots of resource articles available on the internet. Or book a couple sessions with a nutritionist—they’re super smart people and can steer you in the right direction.
- Get at least eight hours of sleep each night. Not six or seven hours, but a full eight. (Actually, some research suggests that nine hours is the optimal number for humans, but I’m not going to press my luck with my readers!) Additionally, do your best to go to bed at the same time each night, so that your sleep/wakefulness cycles become as consistent as possible. Your brain will thank you for this, and will reward you with better clarity, recall, and reasoning ability.
So there you have it. A positive attitude is so powerful that it can make a bad day tolerable, and a good one great. It can make you happier, healthier, more productive, and more attractive to be around…and all of this adds up to a big boost for both your personal and professional success.
Do you have a topic you’d like for me to cover in a future article or blog? Send your requests to me at my website. I would love to hear from you!