Hello, and welcome to Part II of my article on credibility. If you missed Part I, or if you’d like a quick refresher (after all, three weeks is a long time between installments!), here’s a link to Part I.
As a quick aside, Part I of this article garnered more comments than practically anything I’ve ever written! I guess credibility really is an important (and evidently touchy) topic these days. Thanks to everyone who weighed in. I appreciate your input and your encouragement.
As promised, today we’ll take a look at a few ways your credibility can become degraded, as well as a few fixes to apply if you find yourself in short supply. Let’s jump right in.
Credibility Destroyers
No matter how much credibility you may have accumulated, you can quickly demolish it by doing any of the following:
Being dishonest or unethical: This is the fastest way to obliterate your followers’ trust and respect. Be above board in all your dealings.
Saying one thing and doing another: It’s fine to set reasonably high standards for those who follow you, but if you’re not willing to practice what you preach, your followers will disrespect and resent you.
Waffling: First you say one thing, then you reverse your position, then you ask others what they think you should do. If you’re not sure what you want, why should anyone follow you? Figure out what you want, state it clearly and unequivocally, and then stick with it.
Failing to follow up: This sends a clear message to your followers that you don’t really care about the project at hand, or about whether they complete their assignments or follow the rules. And if you’re a manager or supervisor, your indifferent attitude will proclaim to your employees that they can get away with any kind of behavior. Stay on top of things.
Swearing: I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to include this tip, because I realize that some people use swearing as a means of being playful or funny—I’ve seen it done successfully. However, I’m not talking about playfulness, which we can all appreciate; I’m talking about swearing at people (a 100% no-no, 100% of the time, no exceptions), cursing to high heaven when things go wrong, or turning the air blue in the presence of people who clearly don’t appreciate it. Besides being unpleasant and unprofessional, using swear words makes you appear ill-mannered, crude, or out of control—or all three. So, to safely maintain your credibility, keep it clean.
Associating with unethical people: You’ll be judged (and influenced) by the company you keep. Stay away from shady characters.
Gossiping: Passing on rumors about others can make you seem insecure, immature, and untrustworthy. It can also damage reputations, including yours. As a leader, you’ve got better things to talk about.
Tastelessness, tackiness—call it what you want: Being crude, vulgar, loud, telling lewd jokes, or otherwise lacking good taste in your speech, gestures, or appearance will lower your standing in the eyes of others and interfere with your message. Always be professional, honorable, and polite.
Communicating in a passive style: Allowing others to dominate you makes you appear weak, unsure of yourself, and not up to the job. Use an assertive communication style in all of your communications.
Communicating in an aggressive style: Riding roughshod over others not only destroys your credibility, but also breeds resentment and a lack of cooperation. (Ditto for using a passive-aggressive style.) Model what you want to see in others by communicating assertively. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it will earn you the respect and affection of your followers and make everything run much more smoothly.
Next, let’s discuss something a bit touchier…
So, what if you blow it? You swear in front of a nun, or you betray a colleague’s confidence, or you get caught in a lie, or you storm out of a meeting and slam the door behind you. What do you do next? Here are some tips, the first of which is the most important:
Apologize(!): If you’re a parent or guardian, you’ve probably heard this phrase way too many times: “But I didn’t doooo anything wrong…” Well, when it comes to restoring your credibility, it doesn’t matter—perhaps you honestly didn’t know you were lying, or you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you received the blame (and the heat) for something someone else did. It may not be easy, and you may not even feel as if you should have to, but remember this: your motivation to apologize should come from your desire to fix a problem (in this case, your reputation) and/or to make things better (i.e., your relationship with your followers).
Begin by saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.” Be sure to use one or both of those specific phrases, because saying things like, “I regret that…” or “I wish this hadn’t happened…” doesn’t cut it—you’ll sound as if you’re attempting to trivialize your error. By contrast, no groveling! Say you’re sorry only once (twice at most—at the beginning and end of your apology speech), explain yourself briefly (if you can do so without digging a deeper hole), and then move on. You’re attempting to regain your footing as a leader, so resume your role as quickly as possible.
Do some damage control: Check around you. Did you fail to follow up on a project? Did you offend your followers and make them hate you? Did you let someone else control your decision-making role in a crucial situation? Did you associate with someone who turned out to be disreputable? You may need to take action: hold a meeting, reverse a decision, rescind an order, or do whatever it takes to correct a bad situation. You may even need to tell your followers that you were flat-out wrong. Do it assertively and quickly. Your behavior under these circumstances will go a long way toward restoring your credibility.
Become perfect for one entire year: Yes, you read that right. This advice comes from the world of counseling and psychotherapy. When partnered couples suffer a breach of trust (usually because one or both violated one or more relationship agreements), assuming they want to save their relationship, this is what therapists suggest: live your life for one entire year, doing absolutely nothing that could further wreck your credibility, while doing absolutely everything to restore your reputable standing. Research shows that it takes about a year to build back trust and credibility, and while one year of being completely forthright and forthcoming might seem like a tall order (or a harsh sentence, depending on how you look at it), it really shouldn’t feel that way, should it? Not if you’re truly a person of integrity.
In summary, to build and maintain your credibility, you need to be your “best self” at all times—honest, ethical, clear, consistent, goal-oriented, empathic, and inspiring. You must set an example for others, and be the kind of person who inspires confidence. You must take charge with assurance and sensitivity, and refrain from being a bully.
Ultimately, you are responsible for your own personal and professional image—from your honesty to your integrity, from your likability to your overall credibility. Treat your image in the same way you treat your overall self: with thoughtful care and protection.
That’s it for today. Please feel free to comment on this article (you can reach me on my website), and as always, please submit your suggestions for future topics. I love hearing from you! See you in three weeks.