The following question was submitted to me by a woman named Demetria, who works in the industrial plumbing industry. I thought it was a great topic to address in this week’s blog, so thanks for the suggestion, Demetria! (And please note: Demetria wants to ask her boss for a lighter travel schedule, but the principles and tips I’m covering here can apply to any request for a job description change.)
Here’s Demetria’s question:
When I first accepted my job, I was single and without a family, and I agreed to do a certain amount of business-related travel every year. However, I now have a child and no longer want to travel as much as I have in the past. What’s the best way to explain to my manager that I want to reduce my work-related traveling?
OK. Let’s take a look at your current situation by coming up with a couple of factual summary statements:
1. Your life is different than when you first accepted your job.
2. You now have different priorities, which are reasonable and logical.
Assuming these statements are correct, that’s where we need to start. Before you do anything else, you must convince yourself, way deep in your being, beyond a question, that you, as a parent, have every right to ask for a reduction in your travel schedule. You must know that the request you’re about to make is understandable and fair.
Why do I say this? Because it will make all the difference in how you come across when you state your request. If you go to your manager and appear apologetic, unsure of yourself, or downright passive, it sends a subtle message that you, yourself, don’t really know if your request is reasonable. That maybe you should just “buck up” and live with the travel, rather than run the risk of being labeled as “uncooperative,” “difficult,” or possibly the one we want to avoid the most: “that whiny co-worker down the hall who thinks it’s all about them.”
Trust me, you are not any of those things. Here’s the plain truth: you are simply requesting a work modification in the same way you would if you moved across town and needed to change your commute hours, or if you joined a “walk at work” group and needed to take your lunch hour a wee bit earlier. Or, what if you no longer wanted to travel because you’re taking graduate school courses at night? Same-same. What I’m getting at here is very important: approach this request from a matter-of-fact (and positive) position, because the attitude you carry toward the question is going to directly influence the answer.
So, here’s how you go about it. First, you make an appointment with your manager. This interaction is far more important than the casual, “Do you have a moment?” type of discussion you might commonly hold in the break room, or while leaning on your manager’s office doorjamb. (Why? Because it will probably take more than a few minutes to go over the details of your request and to reach a solution, and you never want to put your manager on the spot.)
Next, once you’re together, you jump right in. You positively state your position, using clear, uncomplicated language: “Now that I have a small child at home, I would appreciate it if we could take a look at my work schedule and come up with a plan for reducing the amount of travel I currently do.” From there, you can always add a few bells and whistles, like, “I love my job and I’ve enjoyed the travel, but right now, I’d prefer to be home more often,” or “Someday, when my kids are older, I’d love to return to my travel schedule.” However, I don’t recommend that you get too fancy or add too much to the conversation—you can accidentally create an arguable point, or inadvertently give your manager an “out” from your request. Basic, assertive statements are always safer.
Next, you offer your manager something in return. (It’s called a negotiating point, or a bargaining chip.) You say, “I realize that my request might place an extra burden on the rest of the staff, but I’d be happy to become available every other Friday evening, to take over the bi-weekly call-in reports.” Or, “Since I’ll have more time in the office if I come off the road, I can tackle that off-site filing project we’ve been trying to accomplish for the past year.”
And finally, make sure you remain assertive and positive throughout your entire conversation. Keep these two facts foremost in your mind (both proven over and over again by social psychology research): people who state their requests clearly and unemotionally are more likely to be heard and understood, and likable people are more likely to have their requests granted. And remember, you’re not asking for anything outlandish or unreasonable, so no need to be wimpy or contrite.
Be prepared that your request might not happen overnight. Other people’s schedules may need to be changed; sales regions may need to be realigned; clients may need to be reassigned; your job description may need to be rewritten, and the job itself may need to be reengineered—so be patient and reasonable, and make sure you express your gratitude to each and every person who helps you achieve your goal.
What about you? Do you have a topic you’d like for me to cover in a future blog? Simply write to me at my website, and you just might see your question or suggestion (and your name, if you’d like to be mentioned) in a future blog!