Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I wish I were a bit more of a go-getter,” or “If only I could chill out a bit more.” Well, guess what? Contrary to those old-school notions that character traits are etched in stone, your personality is more like Play-Doh than concrete – it’s totally moldable. Not only can you shift your traits, but research says that doing so can amp up your life satisfaction, too! Talk about a win-win.
Fixed or flexible?
So, we’ve got these longstanding beliefs that our personality traits are unchangeable, sort of like our fingerprints. Blame it on your genes, your childhood, or that one bad day in 7th grade… it’s the lore we’ve been fed by traditional psychology for years. But numerous studies are now showing that it’s simply not the case.
Behavioral scientists from all over the globe – Tilburg University in the Netherlands, Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts in Switzerland, and many others – have been diving into personality research, and they’re coming up with some good news: we can change our personality traits if we’re willing to put in the effort.
In fact, a review published in Psychological Bulletin (owned by the American Psychological Association) revealed that not only do personality traits change naturally over time, but these changes often correlate with significant life events (marriage, career change, or becoming a parent, etc.). So, if life milestones can alter our traits, there’s absolutely no reason why we can’t do it intentionally.
The nerdy part: how some clever researchers proved it
Researchers from the universities of Zurich, St. Gallen, Brandeis, Illinois, and ETH Zurich recently investigated the question of personality change by creating a digital intervention. They took approximately 1,500 study participants and provided them with a smartphone app for three months, and then the researchers evaluated whether/how the subjects’ personalities had changed. They used the “big five” major personality traits (remember your high school psych class?) of openness, conscientiousness, sociability (also called extraversion), considerateness (also called agreeableness), and neuroticism.
The app included various learning modules, as well as a chatbot that supported the participants with daily encouragement and feedback on their progress.
The outcome: Participants who stuck with the 3-month program not only succeeded in giving their personalities a makeover, but also felt a solid boost in overall life satisfaction! (Interesting aside: friends and family members also observed and reported positive changes in the participants.)
What’s more, check out this quote by Mathia Allemand, professor of psychology at UZH, taken directly from the study:
“The participants and their friends alike reported that three months after the end of the intervention, the personality changes brought about by using the app had persisted. These surprising results show that we are not just slaves to our personality, but that we can deliberately make changes to routine experience and behavior patterns.”
In other words, the changes weren’t transient “blips on the screen” that disappeared after the study was over. They stuck. Nice, huh!
By now you’re wondering about the app. Yes, it’s available, it’s free, and it’s called PEACH (that stands for PErsonality coACH – cute, right?). I’ve checked it out, and I think it’s brilliant. Here’s a link if you’d like to know more: https://www.c4dhi.org/projects/snf-personality-change/
But let’s say you don’t have a smartphone (is that even possible?), or you’re just not into coaching apps telling you what to do. Well then, let’s look at some realistic, science-backed tips for making a few personality tweaks on your own…
Practical how-to’s for giving your personality a makeover
- Zoom in: First, pinpoint the trait you’re itching to change (preferably only one at a time – you’re more likely to be successful). Could be that you want to dial down the neuroticism or crank up the extraversion.
- Strategy time: Use “if/then” scenarios to map out your actions. Say, “If I feel like staying in tonight, then I’ll make myself attend at least one social event next week.” (Note: The researchers in the PEACH study found that this type of “self-bargaining” worked amazingly well. However, as a behavioral psychologist, I would suggest flipping the bargain, like this: “If I attend one social event this week, then I’ll allow myself to stay in for a night next week.” Get why? You’re placing the reward after the behavior you’re attempting to strengthen.)
- Reflection session: Take time out of your busy life to assess how you’re doing. Keep a journal or use an app to track your progress. Note what’s working and what’s not.
- Tech to the rescue: Yes, I can’t help but include a little “nudge” in favor of technology… it’s no secret that apps, from step counters to sleep monitors, help to create positive life changes. PEACH or other self-help platforms can serve as your personality-changing GPS. Even if you’re not tech-loving, you might at least consider investigating them.
- Keep tabs: Trust me, this isn’t simply a feel-good exercise. Track your progress through regular self-assessments. You can even ask a close friend or family member to evaluate your headway, and then – this part is very important – be sure to celebrate your victories!
- Stick with it: Changing ingrained habits and personality traits takes grit, commitment, and time. Keep at it and adjust your strategies as needed. Persistence will pay off.
Final thoughts
Personality isn’t the rigid, unchangeable construct we once thought. Research suggests you can twist it, bend it, and reshape it to better align with the life you want to live. And the cherry on top? You’re probably going to be way happier and healthier for it. So whadaya think? Maybe it’s time for a personality glow-up!
That’s it for today. Thanks for being a reader/follower, and I’ll see you soon. Please send your comments on today’s topic as well as suggestions for future ones. I love hearing from you. (My favorite thing: when you simply write to say hi!)